I have a friend who is going to kill himself
it's not even an if, it is certain
he has told me more than once
he is waiting to turn 18 to do it
I guess that he planned it at that age because then he's legally independent?
but whatever the case I want to help him
I am the first person who would disagree if I had someone constantly trying to make me change my mind
so I won't do that
if he's made up his mind, if he wants to end his life, I won't directly tell him to not end his life
but I will try to tell it to him through actions
I want to bring him here with me
I want to keep him in my house and look after him
I want to feed him and do stuff with him
I want to hug him and make him feel like at least one person on the face of this scummy fucking earth cares about him
I cannot stand it
imagining myself staring into his lifeless eyes
filho meu
oh, filho meu...
I feel like the blog entries are becoming slightly shorter with each passing one
but if that's what you care about I want you to kindly go fuck yourself
do you want me to vent about more stuff?
or what else do you want from me
more signs? more maps?
...I'm sorry, I'm just very on edge
AN ATTACK ON BRAINWAVES
Forget-me-do
By order of the Black Sun
Trans-Atlantic Drawl (Radiohead cover, first half)
? ? ?
Good actor
One last battle (to win this war) (genuine earbleed material)
It doesn't matter what you say.
You won't be able to keep your word.
Either that, or you will choose not to.
Do you really think you can help him? He is a whole ocean away.
Keep texting him, and keep it at that.
You shouldn't attach yourself to him, knowing that he will end his life anyway.
That's the easiest thing to do anyway.
And it's not like you enjoy working hard, huh?
You've demonstrated that lately.